Antagonists Assemble!
by Shirahoshi
Summary: When the Avengers are off to Europe to battle villains there, all those left to protect New York (unwillingly) are the ones who tried to kill them several times. In a row. Featuring Loki, the Mandarin, Whiplash and Doctor Doom. (Who is not in connection in the MCU with the Avengers, but who cares.)


Oddly, Loki found the day quite enjoyable, despite that he was supposed to be hiding.

On Midgard.

But all the logics said this would be the last place anybody would look for him (except for the Avengers, but they don't matter, because they could've never found them if he didn't want them to find him), so he just sort of went with it. And didn't regret it at all.

Turns out, even after trying to make a list of "everything that is wrong with this planet and due to that would benefit from having me as a ruler" he couldn't argue with one thing; food here was superior in almost every way. Salty, sweet, sour, meat, vegetables, vegetables that somewhat _tasted _like meat... He chewed on a bit of burger, deep in his thought, lost to the world. Now, if they could only get rid of all those chemicals... And the noises.

Someone crashed into him, screaming, effectively knocking the burger out from his hand. Looking down, it turned out to be a young mortal male, looking some kind of "hypster", as humans refer to the style.

"Nobody would ever believe me if I was to say that he really did run into me and knocked himself out," he murmured to himself dryly, remembering the old times with Thor.

"_I didn't hit him with a hammer_!" the princeling once told their mother after a duel that ended in Vanaheim's heir unconscious for a week straight, "_He purposefully run into it_!"

"_Run into it_," their mother said, frowning, clearly not in a gaming mood. Why was she in a bad mood back than (and some other times every fourth month) they'd learn ten years later and immediately regretting it. The seething mother of the other princeling might have had to do something with it, as well. "_Sweetheart, if you're going to lie to me, at least do try to put some effort into it..._"

Meanwhile the man seemed to realise that he was on the ground; when he found Loki's face and could focus on it, he screamed once again. This was accompanied by several others, some higher pitched, some lower as a horde of humans were nearing them running at full speed.

"Be quiet," the demigod hissed as he yanked the Midgardian up by his collar, "And tell me what's all the ruckus is about."

The man gulped. Fear. Good. But he doubted he can take all the credit.

"Th-th-th-the-the..." Great eyepatches of Odin. He wasn't in the mood for this today.

"Th-th-th-the-the what?!" he snapped. The man yelped, paling even further which threatened with him fainting again.

"The sewers! _Things _are coming out from the sewers!" Loki shook him, preventing the man from loosing consciousness once more.

"What do they look like?"

"Big but thin..."

"Green scales, a tail, like a humanoid Jurassic Park velociraptor?" Hey, he did have to pass time somehow. Movies were only a form of that.

"Yes, exactly like that! How'd you know?"

Loki smiled, turning the man around and let go of him.

Not one of his better ideas as he collapsed immediately. How come Midgard had people like the Avengers if you didn't include Thor and... These ones?

The creature hissed at him as the god kicked the "hypster's" body aside, and folded his hands behind his back, his clothes slowly morphing into a more fitting battle gear. Save for the horns. Those were really only for show.

"Hello. I don't think I've ever met your people before. My name is Loki and..."

The blast came unexpected. So the metal rod the thing was holding, wasn't just something it picked from the trash.

Was it only him or people did forget the basics of polite behaviour, including not striking one when he's introducing himself?

"All right," he said, straightening up, "I might have not started it properly. And seeing as your friends are coming, we might as well cut it short."

As it appeared, a severed head is efficient in ninety-nine percent of the time in preventing one from creating havoc also gave enough time for a tactical withdrawal to the nearby Shawarma restaurant.

Well, it was supposed to. But then another creature he failed to detect appeared out of nowhere before being torn into two by two electrical whips.

"What the hell are you doing there? Wait for 'em to slice you up, eh, boy?"

Loki growled.

"Just who do you think you are?"

The man cocked his head, thoughtful.

"Do I know you?"

"Unlikely."

"Oh, yes, yes I do," he said pointing a finger and flashed a grin. "The would be conqueror. 't was a nice show you put up."

"I'm humbled to be recognised by the likes of you," Loki spat sarcastically as he blasted a swirl of magic to another beast coming towards them. But before it could reach its target, it dropped dead and smoking, thanks to the buzz of lightning.

It couldn't have been Thor. It couldn't have been they were supposed to be gone!

"Pathetic," came metallic voice from around the corner. A man, covered in metal and green robes appeared. "Pathetic. Both of you."

"Excuse me? Who would you be?"

The man snorted.

"I'm Doctor Doom and I..."

Unfortunately he had no time to finish his monologue as a screeching creature slammed into him from behind, knocking the metallic man into the ground, only to be engulfed in flames a moment later by a blonde-haired man with glowing red eyes.

"Doom needs no help!"

"I didn't mean to help you," the blonde pointed out, setting another creature ablaze as the guy with the electrical whips decapitated one that was coming from behind, "But the thing was about to fall on top of me. Aldrich Killian. Pleasure to meet you. Anybody knows what these things are?"

"Ask the alien," said the man while spinning around himself to avoid two purple-ish blasts of death.

Loki gritted his teeth.

"I have no idea," he admitted, "But they do look similar to a species I read about as a child, imprisoned..." He groaned.

"Imprisoned where?"

"Under Midgard."

"What, in the planet?"

"Yes."

"All right," Killian said as his red-hot hand went straight through the chest of a beast. "And what? Do we keep killing them?"

"No, there are too many for that," he thought for a moment as he severed one in half, before turning to Doom, "Say, how much electricity can you muster up?"

"As much as needed."

"Okay, who here knows how to create big explosions? I'd rather not exhaust my magical preserves completely."

* * *

Tony spat the coffee onto the screen of the jet as he saw the headlines.

_Villains fight back the alien invasion - but where are the Avengers?_

"_This afternoon, people could be the witnesses to one of the things thought impossible; villains working together to protect New York and its inhabitants."_

"_**Fucking moron! Get the hell outta there, or I'm going to cut you in half as well!**_"

"_People at first were shocked and afraid..._"

"_**No one is stronger than Doom!**_"

"_But in the end it turned out that all they meant to do was help..._"

Aldrich Killian flashed a toothy grin at the cameraman. Was it Tony, or was it growing hotter and hotter in there? He might have to ask Jarvis to check the ventillating...

"_Even though their methods were sometimes... Interesting._"

"_**Filthy mortal, if you don't pick that dagger up and fight for your life instead of expecting others to do it, I swear to you I'll personally annihilate you and your kinsmen!**__"_

The coffee continued to drip slowly down from the TV. Natasha sighed.

"Tony, tell me, how is it that two-third of your enemies are still alive and running free? Do you really not know how to properly finish off somebody?"

He scowled at the assassin.

"Well, gee. I'm sorry I'm not some cold, heartless..."

"I wouldn't finish that if I were you."

So he didn't.

* * *

**If you'd ask them, they'd say they didn't protect anybody but themselves.**

**How did they defeat them in the end? Blowing a hole at the centre of where these things gathered after Loki located it then Doom shorted out the city's electrical system by electrocuting the water. (Because it was under a bridge.)**


End file.
